Close Eater

We've all heard of the inevitable close talker. Well, today I experienced something that I never hope to encounter again. Beware of the Close Eater! Today, Hill and I went to the food court at Brookwood. I purposely found a table that was out of the way as to not disturb anyone in case Hill started to cry. Just as I was emptying my last packet of ketchup and getting ready to take a bite out of my delicious Chik fil A sandwich, it happened...Close Eater came and sat at the little two person table right across from me. I looked around as if to say, "do you not see all of the empty tables around?" The two feet between us must have been too far for him to catch my brain waves. Worst of all, he didn't have his back to me, he was facing me, directly across from me. It was like we were eating together. Awkward!! Luckily I had Hill with me, so I kind of turned sideways in my chair to face her. I could feel Close Eater's eyes baring into the side of my face the whole lunch. What a weirdo!